Take Off the Cape and Trust Me

                             
                             *** Audio Version Available ***

Hey, beloved of God.  Have I told you, “I love you” today?  Always know that I do.  I’m glad you checked in.  Have a seat.  I have a little something I want to share.

Lately, I’ve been hearing a soft echo in my spirit.  Sometimes I hear it when I wake up in the morning, or when I’m driving alone, I hear the words “possess the land, possess the land.”  I am learning not to lean on my own understanding or automatically assume a meaning of a thing before bringing it to God (Pray for me!!).  I have been guilty of going to others, and even Google, before I bring a matter to God.  Who better to ask for understanding than the author himself.  Moreover, getting an understanding is often like peeling an onion, it has multiple layers.

I’m going the long way to explain but bear with me for a moment.  I’m trusting this is a safe space to be vulnerable.  

One of the first things God is requiring that I do is trust him.  While I say, “I trust you” with my mouth, if I’m honest my actions don’t always align.  For example, I can pray about something, and audibly state “God, I give it to you,”  but when things don’t move quick enough or things aren’t happening the way I think they should, I start trying to figure out how to fix it.  Or I’m in prayer, seeking guidance from God, and once I get to “Amen,” I get up and run without giving God the space to speak or at a minimum settle me with peace.

It’s as if in my heart, I declare, “I have to go,”  “I have to do,” “I have to fix it,” because who else is going to handle this?   I’m living the definition of “self-reliance.”  In the world, self-reliance is a thing to be applauded.  I often hear the old adage, “picking yourself up by your own bootstraps,” or “being a self-made man.”  This is worldly ideology; it’s not meant for kingdom living.  

I’ve come to realize what was born out of a place of trauma, fear, and disappointment, the push to handle it on my own, no longer serves me as a child of the King.  It’s almost like I have a trigger in me, created when those promises were broken, when I felt no one would help me or I couldn’t ask for help, or no one cared what happened to me. I shielded myself in my own self-reliance.  I thought  if I do it myself, I won’t be disappointed, if I remain distant, the hurt can’t reach me.   A triggered response based on trauma, is not what God desires; this kingdom has different rules and self-reliance has no place here.  In this faith, you can’t be an island, and God desires to be close to us.

It's funny, I often wonder why I’m so tired.  Carrying weight that you shouldn’t  is exhausting.  My God promises, in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Regardless of the situations that created this “need” to be self-reliant, at its core, its pride.  Once I realized that, I said, “but God I’m not conceited or prideful.  In fact I’m struggling with low self-esteem”.  This is all a trick of the enemy because the fact remains, anytime you are trying to do things your own way, and not allowing God to actually direct your path; its pride, and destruction is not far away.  Proverbs 16:18 says, “pride goeth before destruction.”   I have decided to take off the cape, be still, and know that he alone is God. 

So, what does this have to do with possessing the land; I told you I’m going the long way.  Today, God brought me to Psalms 37:3, where it says, “Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land and verily thou shall be fed.  In the same chapter at verse 11, it says, “But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”  The opposite of meekness is pride.

I’m learning that before I can tap into peace, I first have to trust.  True trust requires that I remove any form of pride, even the kind created as a protective layer.  

Can we pray?  Father, I come to you today with gratitude.  I crown you Lord and King over every area of my life.  Today God, I pull down every form of arrogance, pride and any form of idolatry that has crept into my life based on hurt, trauma, fear, disappointment and sadness.  I thank you for the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross for me, that covers my sin.  I confess to you that I have come short and I am grateful that your grace prevails.  Remove from me all that is not like you.  Help me when I fail to trust you, forgive me when I run to other things instead of you.  I commit my way to you, knowing that you will direct my path.  My desire is that all of my ways please you. Help me to draw closer to you, and truly possess the land that you promised, in Jesus’ name, Amen.